by James Coulter
You know, originally, this review was supposed to be different. I was supposed to catch a double feature of Twisters and The Crow. I was supposed to review a sequel to a 90s cult classic action flick and a “superhero” movie currently being called the “worst” of the year. (Worse than Madame Web? Now that’s worth checking out!)
So, what happened instead? A cold bug decided to slap me across the face and tell me, “Not today!” So, now I’m stuck at home sick. And what am I watching and reviewing instead? The fourth animated SpongeBob SquarePants movie!
No, wait! Technically, it’s not the fourth SpongeBob movie. It’s a spinoff film starring Sandy Cheeks, the science squirrel girl from Texas.
Look! I don’t think I have to tell you what SpongeBob SquarePants is. The show has been running on Nickelodeon for 25 years now! This cartoon should have ended with the first movie 20 years ago. (Yeah, the first movie came out two decades ago. Feeling old now? I am!)
Not only has the cartoon been continuing even long after the death of its creator (RIP Stephen Hillenburg), but it has also released three more feature-length films. So, is the fourth film any good? Or should the movies have stopped after the first?
It’s another beautiful day in SpongeBob’s underwater hometown of Bikini Bottom until a giant claw digs up the entire city. Only SpongeBob and Sandy are left behind, and now they have to go to the surface to find out where Bikini Bottom has been taken.
They discover that Sandy’s laboratory in Texas is responsible for this whole mess. Now she and the Sponge need to travel to the Lone Star State to track down the stolen city and find out why it was taken in the first place. Will they succeed in doing so?
Fun fact: The plot of the first SpongeBob SquarePants movie was originally going to be about SpongeBob having to rescue his friend Patrick Star after he’s been taken away by marine scientists to a lab in Florida. The movie’s creators decided not to go with that plot because it sounded too much like Finding Nemo.
Well, apparently, 20 years later, Nickelodeon decided to roll with that original plot—only instead of having Patrick kidnapped, everyone else in Bikini Bottom is taken away. Oh, and the lab is in Texas, not Florida. (See? Not the same!)
Okay. The plot isn’t the most original. But is the story itself any good?
Let me put it to you this way: if I had a nickel every time an animated/live-action movie hybrid had the main character smell a pile of poo, I’d have two nickels—which isn’t much, but it’s weird it happened twice. (The first time was Disney’s live-action Pinocchio.)
Okay, so the humor is terrible! What about the animation? Also terrible. Granted, the animation itself isn’t bad, but when they try to incorporate it into live-action, the movie reveals its flaws. There’s never a moment where the live-action and animated elements blend well and don’t come across as creepy and uncanny. (Especially when the film’s villain shares her tragic backstory and reveals her big secret. “Uncanny” doesn’t describe it. “Unsettling” does!)
And the story itself? Well, they try to give Sandy a character arc where she’s forced to choose between her new life in Bikini Bottom and her old life in Texas, but that plot point is never fully developed. We never see Sandy have to struggle to choose between her two homes and families outside of occasionally missing her old life and family. Otherwise, she faces no real pressure, and her dilemma is ultimately resolved by the end of the movie.
Overall, while I loved SpongeBob as a kid, 25 years later, the series has not aged well, and its newest movie isn’t proving otherwise. The only reason you’d watch this movie is if you’re a parent of a kid with access to Netflix. In that case, this movie will certainly keep your kid distracted for an hour and a half. It’s just not worth watching yourself.
